Tag Archives: Karen Love

Live Well with Dementia

“This is one of my favorite songs. What do you think of it, Fran?” We were sitting in Mom’s room in the memory care community, listening to a recording of The Very Thought of You.  Even though my mother could no longer answer this question, I liked hearing my father ask it.  He honored Mom as his long-time beloved conversational partner.  Through this simple action, he was helping her live well with dementia. His example helped me do the same.

This article by Karen Love, Executive Director of Dementia Action Alliance, reminded me of my dad’s positive outlook. It inspired and touched me and I wanted to share it with you.

Live Well with Dementia

By Karen Love, DAA Executive Director

In 1968, Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson published groundbreaking research that showed teacher expectations of students became self-fulfilling prophecies. At the beginning of a school year, first and second grade students’ IQs were tested. The researchers randomly selected a group of students regardless of their actual test results and led the teachers to believe that this group was capable of great academic achievement. The teachers, perhaps unwittingly, gave the students with the presumed higher IQs more positive reinforcements.

At the end of the year, the students were retested. The group labeled high academic achievers did, in fact, show higher achievement than the other students. Robert Rosenthal summarized this research finding as – “What one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy.” This outcome, retested and proven by many others over the years, has become widely known as the Pygmalion Effect.

The dynamics of the Pygmalion Effect have significant impact for those who want to live well with dementia. There is abundant anecdotal evidence among person-centered dementia care experts that the Pygmalion Effect similarly applies.  Family, friends, and others may have low expectations regarding what people living with dementia can and cannot do and how they can function and live. While they may not even be consciously aware of this view, these lowered expectations affect every aspect of the relationship. They don’t engage, interact, and provide opportunities for interesting and fun activities at the same level they would if their expectations were higher.

I experienced the Pygmalion Effect this past week at a memory care assisted living community. I saw a resident sitting alone, apart from the others. I asked a staff member about her and was told she had very advanced dementia.

“What does she like to do?” I asked.

“Nothing, she can’t do anything.”

I knelt beside her and offered a small pillow covered in a soothing, tactile fabric. She immediately started stroking the pillow and then explored the seams. Her expression turned sweet and serene.  Touching the fabric was comforting to her. As I was getting ready to leave, the woman’s daughter arrived. I introduced myself and described how much her mother enjoyed the tactile pillow.

“Mom was a seamstress and loves the feel of fabric,” her daughter said, smiling at her mother. “I should bring one of the lap quilts she made when I visit.”

Her daughter was reminded of something her mother liked to do and she felt grateful she could bring something that would please her mom.

I was reminded how important it is to have interesting and engaging items when we visit. Examples include scented lotion, a tactile pillow or fabric scraps, and an enjoyable short story to read aloud.

Helping someone live well with dementia invites us to open our eyes, our hearts, and change our mindset.  Instead of perceiving limitations, we can spark the Pygmalion Effect by setting positive expectations. We can help make living well with dementia a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Karen Love, gerontologist – Executive Director, Dementia Action Alliance – Powered by People with Purpose 

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.
CITLOD very smallLove in the Land of Dementia_cover

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Care Partnering, Caregiving, Communication, Inspiration, Relationships

Four Easy Ways to Enrich People’s Lives

I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to lie on the floor on that large piece of white paper, but my first grade teacher did not give me a choice.

“Debbie,” she commanded, pointing sternly to the butcher block paper stretched on our school’s aging linoleum. Gingerly, I lowered myself to the ground, moving my arms away from my sides as instructed. Then two classmates traced around me with crayons. Our assignment that day was to draw in our features and our clothes. In essence, we were to clone ourselves using only primary colors. tracing

Years later, at a self-exploration workshop, I again had to pour myself onto a sheet of paper and allow myself to be outlined. This time I was to draw or write in fears and beliefs along with accomplishments and dreams. This was definitely more fun than grade school and infinitely more challenging.

Just recently, I read about a “blank slate” exercise that I really liked. The booklet You Can Help Someone Live Fully With Dementia: A Guide for Family and Friends, suggests that we take an outlined profile and write down all the ways we might help a person living with dementia enrich his or her life.

I really resonated with this exercise. I also thought this was a beautiful idea to do for friends and family as well. How meaningful to think about ways to improve the lives of those close to us.

This brief book, which is accompanied by an inspiring DVD, offers simple tips to help us increase emotional connections during the dementia journey. Ideas include being enthusiastic and encouraging, thinking creatively when suggesting activities, focusing on the individual’s desires and strengths, and adopting a “no wrong way” spirit. right way

This succinct and compassionate guidebook reminds us of the importance of being guided by those who are living with dementia. The authors, Karen Love and Elia Fernia, are advocates who are making a difference in dementia care throughout the country.

 

Karen Love and Elia Femia, PhD are gerontologists and nationally known experts in dementia care. They are the co-founders of FIT Interactive, LLC. fitkits.org

 

For more information about living fully with dementia, please visit the Dementia Action Alliance www.thedaanow.org

Deborah Shouse is the author of Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

1 Comment

Filed under Care Partnering, Caregiving, Creativity, Taking Care of Yourself, Uncategorized

Inside Advocacy with Karen Love: Making a Difference for Those Living with Alzheimer’s

crowdAlzheimer’s is a democratic disease and no one is immune. Movie stars, politicians, bankers, comedians, business moguls, professors, and homemakers– any one of us could face living with dementia. Karen Love is a founder of the Dementia Action Alliance, which focuses on improving dementia care for the more than five million Americans currently living with the condition. Karen works with governmental agencies to define and improve a person-centered standard of care for elders and for those living with dementia. She’s an inspiring leader and I wanted to share some of her insights with you.

Q and A

Q: What prompted you to form a non-profit and become an advocate for aging and for those living with dementia?

A: Advocacy must be in my DNA.  Even as a girl, I was always sticking up for people and their rights. I initially worked as an administrator in assisted living and I became concerned about how fast the industry was growing without paying attention to the needs of its vulnerable residents, particularly those who had dementia.  In 1996, I founded a non-profit organization, Consumer Consortium for Assisted Living (CCAL), to advocate for, support and educate consumers about assisted living. After a decade, we renamed the organization CCAL—Advancing Person-Centered Living, and we expanded our mission to encompass all elder care settings. We focused on promoting quality of life and person-centered practices.

Q: You’ve worked with Medicaid and Medicare to help define and implement a mind-set of person-centered care. What does person-centered care mean and why is it so important?

person centered careA: The World Health Organization and the Institute on Medicine recognize Person-Centered practices as the gold standard.  Person-centered practices support people’s emotional, social, physical, and spiritual well being. They focus on treating people with dignity, fostering choice, independence, and feelings of purpose, value, and self-worth. These practices also help people maintain normalcy in their daily life. I’ve had the honor to help shape the person-centered framework for CMS’s home and community-based division, which support such state-based services as home care, adult day, and assisted living for individuals Medicaid eligible.

Q: You’ve now gathered thought leaders in the fields of aging and dementia, building a coalition of people dedicated to “making dementia better” in our country. What are some of your goals?

A: Our goals include:

  • Enhance knowledge about dementia and person-centered care practices so people living with dementia are no longer stigmatized.
  • Improve healthcare practitioners’ understanding and knowledge about dementia care, person-centered practices and treatment, and make sure materials are accessible.
  • Share information with care partners and healthcare providers about the value of attending to emotional, social, and spiritual well being.
  • Increase federal and state funding for dementia-care related support.money

Q: What are some inspiring actions that ordinary caregivers or persons living with dementia have taken?

A: Just a couple of examples include:

  • Michael Ellenbogen is a person who is living with dementia.  Prior to being diagnosed, he was a high-level bank executive. He has become a tireless advocate and spokesperson for dementia.
  • Lori La Bey started an online weekly radio program called “Alzheimer’s Speaks” to provide a venue for people to learn about dementia, share their experiences, and be supportive.

Q: What are three easy things each person can do to act as an advocate for those living with dementia?

A: Here are some suggestions:

  • There are three ways things change nationally: (1) the President makes it happen (2) Congress makes it happen (3) the groundswell of people’s voices and actions make it happen.  There has not been an interest  for the first two methods. Historically, method 3 was effective for impacting and changing issues such as HIV/AIDS and breast cancer. The Dementia Action Alliance brings people together so we can be a catalyst for change.
  • words matterWords matter. Often people living with dementia, including Alzheimer’s, are called “patient,” “victim,” “demented,” and “sufferer” – and the condition is called a “dementing illness” and an “affliction.”   This type of language can impact how people living with dementia feel about themselves and how they are treated by others. Print out “Use Words Wisely” from the website – www.daanow.org/words-matter/– and help educate others about what words to use.
  • Email the Dementia Action Alliance at info@daanow.org about your interest in volunteering. Consider making a financial donation at www.daanow.org The more people involved in the Dementia Action Alliance, the sooner and greater the impact.

Please feel free to share this information with your friends and colleagues. The more we all work together, the more effective our voices will be.

Deborah Shouse is the author of Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

2 Comments

Filed under Advocacy, Care Partnering, Communication